Bed & recovery

Am thankful that I am self-aware enough to know when getting up / going to work is beyond me, & for the means & ability to phone in sick.  Thankful my boss is easy to deal with on these occasions.
Thankful too that I am starting to perk up,& that a lazy day has done the trick.

Thankful for the things I am starting to clear from the house, for the presents from friends (especially the candles that I'm using to clear stale energies from the rooms).  Thankful it was dry when I went out to the bunnies, & to the bins, for being awake to pull the bins out & then return them (the neighbours usually take care of it, am glad to be able to take a turn).

Thankful there is food in the house, & shops nearby.  For friends to talk to / message & support me. That we have running water, to drink & clean with, & flushing toilets, sanitation for health & wellbeing.

Thankful that husband is so calm & easy-going.  He is awesome to be around, & he looks after me well.  & that there is an easy walk coming up next week that I'm going to sign up for later.  Local, & pretty & I know a few of the people.

More than Surviving

• Thankful for even small signs of progress, I'm up to 10 - 4.15 for my working day now.  There was a time I couldn't imagine even being in work.
• Thankful for friends, 
• one's just popped in with a Christmas present, & a couple of hugs, & an invite.
• they keep an eye on me
• Thankful for what I can do, my abilities, & skills
• like reading, & being able to walk etc.
• It was dry & I had the chance to go for a few walks through the nice area
• Husband cooked lovely, healthy tea.  Is supporting me trying to be healthier
• & he obliged me with helping revise emails it was unwise to send
• thankful I didn't send any I'd regret
• Had a good laugh at lunch with a friend, & hopefully we helped her see things more rationally.

Happy

Thankful for friends, & for being able to get out & about.  Thankful for my physical health, & people supporting my mental & emotional wellbeing.  Thankful it was dry when we went to the beach, & (secretly) that the café had stopped serving.  Thankful for a traffic jam allowing me to drop friend off, & a space to collect her from.  Thankful the shop had what I'd gone for.

Thankful for husband, for the beach chippie being open again, & for him sharing his dinner (& not saying I told you) when I hadn't ordered enough for me.  Also for him having bought fruit for me, keeping me well looked after, & fed healthily.  & for being supportive.

Very thankful the shop had hay & I have enough for the bunnies.

That someone I thought had taken offence got back in touch.

Thankful I was around yesterday when neighbour wanted a favour, & that I caught up with the other one too.  Thankful for the people around me.

Thankful for all I have, & that I have access too.  Space to do things, I even did a bit of yoga yesterday.

Thankful for hope, for a better future, & being able to overcome current issues.

I'm pleased with myself for starting on the old rabbit run, & for getting into the loft to start decluttering up there.  & for the few things that have been given away.  Thankful that taking action has made me feel better.  Am proud of myself for getting up & getting on the weekend, even without needing to go anywhere.

Weekend

Thankful that I have good neighbours, & easy access to the things I need.
That husband is calm & patient, & makes sure I am taken care of.
That the bunnies are ok,
That we are in a position where I can take a break from work.

Thankful too that I have friends to talk with, & people who understand me.
That I'm up & have plenty of things I can do, and nothing I need to do.
Thankful for the time & space to gradually work through decluttering, & I can see progress...

Thankful it's the weekend & I can relax.

Boxing day

Happy to be in another good mood, had a lovely lie-in reading.
Thankful I did some chores so now I feel like I've been productive, and also had a relaxing day.
Thankful husband took me for a walk, & that my feet survived,
That I had fun with neighbour, that she invited me round & that I was brave enough to accept, & that I'm feeling better.
Also glad we won the game, suddenly it's got hard!
That we have food, & warmth, & shelter.
That the bunnies, & friends, & family are all safe & well.
That I got fuel the other day, so that a chore that doesn't need repeated for a while.

Fab Christmas

Thankful for a lovely day, for waking in a good mood, getting dressed & even putting make up on.

For husband doing weights with me before dinner.

For dinner itself, & sensible food portions, for speaking to friends & family.  For husband saving veg for my bunnies.

For it being dry for me going outside to the bunnies, for being able to enjoy watching them run around with their veg, & being so soft & fluffy.

Enjoying Baileys hot chocolate, & husband making them unprompted, & for him taking the wine off me to open.

& for him playing heroes with me again.

Tuesday

• Thankful I got up & went to work, & that breakfast was nice, we had a bit of a laugh.
• Friends came round to check up on me, & leave me some treats, so there's a bag of goodies under the tree for tomorrow.
• Thankful I got a bit done at work, & have myself some notes for later.  Decisions made & ready to be argued.  Am feeling stronger.
• Thankful for a nice afternoon with husband, I got the table cleared and so we played heroes. I am slightly motivated to type up the keywords - getting a bit of my mojo back.
• Thankful husband is easy going, & I have no obligations.
• It's like along weekend & I know how to enjoy myself, have perky up quite a lot since coming home & deciding the enjoy the holiday.  Friends & husband have definitely helped.  Glad I got the table cleared & opened out, feeling a bit better about the house too, there's room for us to eat tomorrow.
• Did the washing up & that always makes me feel a little better.  Thankful for the time people spend with me.

Bounce

Thankful I got good bacon for breakfast, & husband gave me his piece.
Thankful boss agreed to my suggested hours next week, gradually going to get back to fulltime.
Thankful dentist trip was uneventful, & I'm noticeably perked up today (he even commented on how much calmer & brighter I was today).  I survived my day, had a nice chat with a colleague who says he'll miss my smileyness.  Thankful that I still appear that way, & even on a bad day we still had a laugh (the other day).
Also thankful anaesthetic wore off in time for me to eat, & that husband joined me for baileys / hot chocolate.
Got home in time to sleep.  Shop had hay so I'm fully supplied for the holidays & we don't need to go shopping.
Have stayed awake til a reasonable bedtime, hoping to get back to normal soon.

Well rested

Thankful for husband looking after me, for the luxury of spending my day in bed / relaxing so I can properly recover.
Thankful for the books & cards & pc & colouring supplies that surround me so I have plenty of entertainment options.
Thankful a friend sent me a link to a rehousing stuff facebook page & I managed to pass on a few things, relieved to keep them out of the landfill when there's nothing wrong with them.
Thankful that I feel much better today, & now I am well rested & ready to face the week, also for a decision I've made about work.  Thankful for people to talk it through with, & that I've been motivated to do a few things today.
Thankful for all I have, food, heating, house, friends, husband.

sleep

So thankful for my bed, it's safe & cosy.  For husband looking after me, & leaving me alone.  He cooked me lovely lunch, & even saved the nose of the brie cos he knows it's my favourite bit.  It's just further evidence of the effort he goes to for me, reminding me to appreciate him for making me feel so special.

Thankful I found an old gratitude journal & it's reminded me of things I take forgranted:  direct debits, not worrying about bills...
It's from 3 years ago & based on "The Magic".  Thankful for the reminder that it's about why as well as what.

Thankful for the books around me, & the entertainment.  That  I can indulge myself in terms of time, & money, &space.  Very thankful that I have such a range of hobbies (quiet, active, passive, ones I can do lying down etc.) so that like today when i'm tired (or my eyes are sore) there are still things that I can enjoy doing.

Thankful for my tablet, that I can still get on the internet when I'm in bed, & for the external keyboard because it's much easier to type that way, & easier on my wrists,

Thankful for my friends, that I can message & stay in contact without having to meet up.  So on off days I can feel supported & be supportive, that's important to me.  I don't want to feel like a bad friend when I'm already low, or that I don't care when I know there are things going on in their lives too.

Sleep

Thankful I got up & got to work, & the day passed.
I got a task finished without taking on any new ones.
Thankful it's the weekend, can sleep & rest, cosy bed invites me...

Was dry when I went out to the bunnies, bunnies are happily tucking into their food.
Husband went to the Chinese for both ordering & collection
Plenty of entertainment around me

Friends making sure I'm ok.
Was dry when I went walkabout, got my 10k steps, good chat with workmate, company for some of the walk.
Getting into a little groove at work, & getting the hang of shrugging stuff off

Friends & support

• thankful I got to tell all the people that I wanted to tell personally, & that no-one's questioned me,
• also for a compliment
• for a few fortuitous meetings with people around site
• getting through the day without tears or meltdown
• that someone thought of me when friend was in visiting, & I got to pop in & see her
• that I did the bunnies before I went out
• tea was good
• safely home
• friend understands
• progress in a few areas
• Christmas hugs

Safety

Thankful I know myself well, self-aware, that I made the decision not to go to work, & it was the right one.

I got to speak to the HR manager & phoning in sick was straightforward.

Thankful husband was home, just to be around, & to feed me.

Thankful for the house, & heating, & being able to hide under the duvet, watch tv, colour, read...

That a dentist appointment meant I went to Pilates, & that was ok.  Very thankful I didn't just sit in the waiting room & cry.  & I have my next appointment next week after work.

Thankful for my friends, & husband.

Thankful I have the hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

Freedom

Thankful I got a nice nurse, & we had a good chat.  She's been good every time I've seen her & I'm going to write her a thankyou note.
That I was there in time, with a few minutes to message friends.  That I came home for lunch & had a few minutes with husband.

Thankful that I got something done that I've been avoiding for a while, & it wasn't that bad.
Am pleased with myself for being firm.

Thankful that we have plenty, that they sent the last collection date for the foodbank, & husband's helped me drop stuff off at work.

Thankful he looks after me, & cooks good food for me.  He weight trained me tonight too, watching my form so I don't hurt myself.

Thankful I've remembered how to smile & shrug things off.

Thankful that I got up early to put the bins out, which meant I was on hand to reassure a neighbour she hadn't missed the collection, the bag handles were still hanging out of ours, & I got to pull them back up after they were emptied so there was no risk of anyone slipping on our drive.
That I left home early for work so tyre pressures weren't an issue, & I had an excuse to email the boss & casually mention a few things.

retrospect & perspective

I'm glad I got up early enough to get to work to catch my boss before he started his meetings.
That a meeting that was never going to go well was moved to the end of my day so I could still enjoy the rest of my day, & I did.  Husband was supportive when I got home.  Have turned something that annoyed me on its head & can use it to my advantage.

Decorating the work tree with friends was good.

Got a convenient dentist appointment this week, when I'm still on early finishes. & blood tests booked in for over lunch tomorrow.

Got to tell the people I wanted to tell, before word is out.

In a good mood again.  A friend got in touch & we've made plans.
Have an idea about where to go next with the decluttering.

Fab day

Got up on time, bunnies are good.

Had a fabulous day with a friend, she was on time, we were on time to where we were going (& even had a little adventure on the way).

I had a really good laughter session, & can still feel it there to access.  

I feel so much better these days, & I cheered up a friend.

The café was good, open, & enjoyable live music which was a bonus.  There were some really good pictures on the wall.  Thankful there was something in the café I eat, & I enjoyed the hot chocolate.  Also thankful friend has taken snacks & a drink for me.

Husband cooked me a lovely dinner & we had a lovely evening.

All is well.  I have a fabulous support system for which I am deeply appreciative.

Lazy day

Thankful I got my review finished & it's submitted ready to post (March).  It helps me feel that I accomplished something today.

That I got myself down to the shop in the dry & the bunnies entertained me with their treat.

Husband made a tasty dinner, & there's enough left over for my tea, finished now.
A show we watch has its next season out, so that'll be our Christmas watching.

I remembered stamps so the Christmas cards are ready to post.
Thankful for the WAP, & discussing it with my boss, husband agrees with the edit, & it's emailed to my boss.

Found a helpful little book that I am enjoying reading just now.

The cards were supportive of a decision I made today, as is husband & friends.  I am thankful for the support, & I know that I feel better now the decision is made.  I had some good conversations with friends today, & there is a new project twinkling its way into existence.

Support & conversation

Thankful that I have a new hidey hole at work, another ally to help calm me down & think things through.  "It's going to be ok, we're going to become friends, & breathe, & think, & take it slowly, & get it all under control".  Someone who's main task with me is to keep me calm & happy.

Thankful my reading made sense & is helpful.  & that gullible whilst uncomfortable has made me shift my perspective.

Thankful that one of the people I was considering asking to be a mental health buddy is training as a mental health first aider, as is another supporter.  I feel better about speaking to her now.

Thankful that I came home tired & starving (having just been talking about hunger rage), & husband was cooking me lunch 💝💝  & I left work before I got too grumpy.
& I had a lovely nap which compensates for not sleeping well.

Thankful the top I want to wear still fits, & we had a laugh at work, that the bunnies are ok & I get to clean them out in daylight.  That we have buses nearby & no worries about getting to town or home again.

It's Friday!

Thankful husband's home, that he's cuddly & looks after me.
Thankful too that he remembers to stop gaming & check on me occasionally.
He came & offered me hot chocolate yesterday, & makes sure I'm fed.

Thankful too that there's hope.  That I can get up when I can't sleep & potter around without disturbing anyone.  That I have a blog to pour my ideas out into, & friends to share the more private thoughts with.  Thankful that I have outlets.

That yesterday husband came to vote with me, I got my 10k steps, we chat as we walk, he shared his week with me.  & when we came home wet, PJs to change into & a warm house to enjoy.  Thankful that I voted & my conscience is clear.

Thankful too that having got up at stupid o'clock cos I couldn't sleep, that I can now go back to bed & there's plenty of time to snooze before getting up time.

Thankful that I am safe, & warm, & dry.  & my bed & husbands arm are waiting for me.  Hello land of nod...

Workmates

Lunch was a laugh, & I got to catch up with a friend.
Made it in on time, cos there was a space in the near carpark
Meeting with boss was useful,
Got tomorrow afternoon off with husband & swapped details with a couple of workmates for meeting up.
Made it up to the IT office & had a good chat there, the guy had the sense to calm me down & we will make a good team.
Have my plan for the next few days sorted.
Husband is home

Freedom!

Thankful for how far I've come, & that I'm in a good mood.
For the friend who sent me a happy dance gif this morning & reminded me to dance, & that I found the motivation for a quick workout.

That I went back into the house to get the bunnies a cabbage just as a delivery driver arrived - glad I was there to receive the parcel.  It's for a neighbour & I'm glad of the excuse for a quick catch-up later.  Neighbour came round, thankful I expected it to be her & answered the door.

That it's dry when I went to the shop & when I cleaned out the bunnies,& for the walk I had with a friend.  Very thankful for my warm coat, & that I enjoyed dinner (& that we shared dessert).

Thankful to friend for lunch, for sharing my afternoon & helping me celebrate, for showing an interest & indulging some questions & conversations. For helping me work through some things, & to all my friends for their support & concern.

For feeling productive, & my last day of freedom showing that I'm well enough to be back at work.

everyday things

Glad the review with the nurse went ok, & her report is accurate.

Thankful lunch was a good laugh, & we sorted out husband's food choice, & that we all fit on the table.

Am glad I started my journey map & took it with me, & had a useful discussion about it.  & that I'm having the final session.  There was some useful insight.  

Thankful the bunnies are ok, & I have enough food for them.  That there is food in the cupboard.

Very thankful to be getting back on form, that we have a work employee assistance programme, & I have access to treatment.  

That I am well supported.

Work days

Thankful it was dry & I got to wear my furry & fluffy stuff, I was so cosy in them today.  Glad of the reception I got from friends, & a few really fun conversations.

I got up & perked up & even got to work on time. & had a good day there.  Thankful it stayed dry, & I had reason to wander, & I got parked in the near carpark, & workmate helped me carry the heavy stuff & is taking more items.

Glad there are simple tasks I can concentrate on, well within my capabilities, & there are more involved ones as I feel ready to take them on.  Also lucky that I am well supported, & have friends at work. That there is no pressure & I am coping.

My latest querent was really happy with her reading & gave me good feedback.

Very thankful I have warm clothes, & the house, & heating, & food & basics & luxuries to enjoy.

Lazy Sundays

Thankful it was dry when I wanted to sort out the shed, that husband appeared right on cue to help when I was stuck, that I have my swing, for friends to help out, for being bold enough to ask.  & that a friend is happy to take something I found that will be useful.

Thankful husband suggested a walk, & it was dry for that too, & we had a good chat.  That he's excited. & the walk helped me reach my step target.

For the friends I have, for people to talk sense to me, that I trust their opinions, & that they listen to me.  I have an idea where to donate some of my stuff that will really appreciate it, & also friend has been convinced by something I said!

Thankful I am endorsed, no more mentoring.  & mentor has received her parcel.

Thankful for my bed, cosy & warm, & the option to phone in sick or go in late if I need to.

Survived the week!

• Thankful I survived the work week
• boss found time to see me, & that I was reassured & the imaginary pressure's off, & we've booked time for a proper conversation next week.  That he saw me passing & invited me in for the chat since I hadn't got the message in time.
• A missing piece of paper turned up & I made some progress with a new project.
• Pleased with myself that I passed an obstruction on to boss without letting it affect me much.
• I'm doing ok at work, the important thing is that I keep making it in, & I did my 4 days!
• Invited out & accepted.  It's nice to be invited, I got parked, I even got out of the space again afterwards ok, got home ok & while I was still capable of driving
• arrived reasonably on time, glad I remembered & the show finished just on time, had a nice evening with husband before I went out
• other friend turned up & it was good to see her
• played with some new cards & got good messages
• passed on husband wisdom, & friend shared it on FB, thankful to have a wise & quote worthy husband.
• Reading is positive & I got to use my new deck, & I found the website & it's amazing & I got a bonus journal cos I pre-ordered
• useful for blog piece
• can now preview artwork for another deck I'm interested in
• Pleased to find homes for more stuff we're decluttering

• Got to the market & spoke to person I went there to support. 
• Got parked easily in a dead-end, my preference cos it's easier than pulling out in traffic.
• avoided the worst of the crowds
• remembered hay
• locks arrived (husband ordered them)
• remembered his request at the shop
• remembered tape
• got a couple of cool things
• remembered to call into the other shop & got what I wanted
• husband took me walkies when I got home
• shelves fit perfectly in the shed
• Thankful for all I have, & the people around me.

Thursday

pleased I got up to take husband to work, & I got a nap afterwards
also pleased that a song is back to comforting me
my new deck is working out great
enjoyed lunch, avoided the audit
had a useful conversation & have found out what's happening.
Husband's present arrived, got him sorted for the secret santa,
friend brought me a fabulous gift,
news tomorrow!

Space

I am so thankful to be off work today, & more so to be at home.

The day is mine & it is free apart from lunch with a friend, & that I got some stuff removed
Pleased the pub was reasonably empty, that there was plenty of room for the pushchair.
That there was space in the carpark, & that I got in & out easily.
That I remembered fuel, & pulled away safely
That there's no-one to see me cry

That is was dry when I did the smidge of gardening that I did

So many things, husband is home tonight, I can put the heating on, I have friends, & access to the things I want, & things I need.  I can stick the heating on at will, & eat cake for lunch if I want (I didn't - I had curry).  That I'm self-aware enough to know what I need, & what will be good for me.

Timings

• Just in time
• for the training it benefitted me to complete
• home for my nap
• awake for lunch & to fill the car screen wash
• to work for another meeting
• meeting trainer in the corridor to direct me to the correct room
• to the training to get the best seat
• volunteering to take down the posters taking me to hometime
• no queue at the post office or the pet shop
• home to clean out the bunnies before it got dark
• & to be in ready for my parcel

The meeting I had was gentle & a good laugh, & supportive.  Very glad I had it, & for the opportunity to open up & find a new source of support, & to get a fresh perspective too.  For someone to recognise that the isolation is a problem.

Parcel has just arrived, & I have a few more things picked out to pack.  A friend has agreed they want a set of glasses I thought they'd like, & a workmate is taking something that someone else has failed to take.  Feel like I'm back on track with the decluttering / packing.

Thankful for my health, physical abilities, house, warmth, provisions, friends, abilities, skills, resources, support, so very many things.

Friends & a laugh

• Thankful I had a good day, 
• I was awake early enough to potter, & get to the shop for milk & bunny treats.
• I have enough to do at work & am still getting on with plenty, also that in the context of having not even been back a full working week, that I am still managing to progress activities.  
• Self compassion, take it easy & get there
• Got home in time to nap
• Good feedback from latest readings
• new starter was brought round before lunch so we could be friendly in the canteen & she eventually joined us
• on time to pick up friend, roads clear, above freezing
• liked my dinner & had a good laugh at the Christmas party
• glad I went, also glad I went with friend so I wasn't turning up alone
• friend is really happy with crystal

I love weekends

Friend & I both survived the frosted back road to the café, had a lovely chat.  Balanced, 2 way conversation.  Thankful for the friends I have.  Borrowed some lovely looking decks & treated myself to a pre-order.  Also really pleased friend likes her necklace & appreciates the length.  We had a fascinating conversation about shared interests.

Thankful it was dry & I had a few minutes for the woods.  I love being out in nature.  Stayed out of the mud too.

Thankful for massage, we had a really good chat too.  She's interested in some of the same stuff, & is going to have free time next year.

Thankful took the hint, I'm going for a nap & will be starving when I wake up" & cooked dinner.  It was yummy.  Also pleased that we were partway through an episode so watching it was ok.

Had a lovely meditation with my crystals, & tried a new base one.  Worked well.  Woke up in good time for dinner.

Had my reading back from mentor, is looking good.

I also got my through my packing blockage (the teapots that needed washing).  Mission accomplished.  Also pleased a friend has a new social opportunity.  & found another friend who's interested in something we're planning for next year!