Surviving

• A very calm and productive meeting, I wish they were all like that (apart from the bit where I got loads of work to do).
• Husband is supposedly off to make me hot chocolate
• the brownies were lush
• I got my overwhelm under control
• Looking at quotes friends have given me cheered me up & made me feel better.
• Remembered to thank my friend 
• Also thanked someone else for their help & told them the meeting had gone well & they were grateful for the feedback
• I managed to progress a couple of tasks
• I bought myself some magnets to cheer myself up
• One of my new books arrived
• Husband took me walkies!  I love walkies with husband
• we had a good chat, & as I came past the garage they were just starting to shut so thankfully I got back with the car in time to get fuel
• Husband looks after me, trying to reassure me that having too much work is a good thing, that means my job is secure.  

Progress & ticking along

• A laid back day, plenty of excuses to go for a wander when I needed to,
• A reason to visit someone I needed to casually run into, job done.  Off the back of that I have come up with a reasonable solution to an awkward request.  I knew the answer would have to be no and now I have a viable alternative 😊 smug face.
• Café trip with a workmate after work for a long overdue catch up, he's good & we can make plans 
• left myself enough time to do the shopping I wanted to do after work, 
• got some funky makeup
• husband's home later, I am smitten 😍😍💖
• brownies are in progress!
• an unhappy mate has had some good news
• flattered to be one of the few he trusted to tell
• I am feeling organised and in control (at work).
• one of my favourite crystals is supposed to help absorb information and combat chaos.
• I am really proud of the progress I've made in this job, and personally.
• I'm off to bed to read or colour, no expectation of myself to do any chores ;-)

Reading in bed

Friend took me to the old Pilates class, it's made me appreciate the new one more, & I've decided I'm not going back to the old one.  Yay - I made a decision.

Something didn't work & I realised I can use fixing it to write the instructions on how to fix it.  Bonus ;-)

I wrote a nice review on trip advisor for the café we go to & the owner has responded.  A couple more reviews have appeared for the new restaurant we went to at the weekend, & they've brought it's rating up.

My boss still has his certificate, workmate was telling me about it.

I've remembered how much I like reading.  In the "go to your happy place" relaxation at the end of Pilates I knew I wanted to be at home reading in bed.  I love reading, & I love the kindle & being able to instantly get books.  I am smiling as I think of how thoughtful husband is, & how he knew I'd love the kindle & so he got me one.

I'm looking forward to going to bed so I can lie there & read 😍  Husband has already sent goodnight kisses, & I've found a new favourite facebook sticker to use to send him kisses.

Positivity is back!

• I woke up in a good mood 
• early enough for a shower
• I kept my good mood all day
• loads of other people were in good moods too
• I was well cuddled 😍💖
• husband will roll over & cuddle me if I ask
• I had a good, positive conversation with my boss
• he appreciates I have loads of work on & checked I was ok (he hasn't done that in a while)
• the certificate was well received)
• I have a plan to crack on with, & I told him my priorities - I didn't even ask, I told him. I'm getting more assertive & authoritarian with him, I am owning this job!
• Talking to other people has helped me remember the benefits of my job, working for my boss, the things that I enjoy (in my wider life)
• I'm starting to sort out my mess / chaos from Friday, I have learnt from it & the improvements are already in progress
• Dinner was lush & workmate enjoyed it
• It was fun talking to him
• I got to encourage him, & advise him, I hope I helped
• I won the dino strike event, good rewards :-)

Lazy days

• Husband came walkies 😍💖
• I got my 10k steps
• I've found time to read, done a smidgen of housework, played heroes with husband & even managed some yoga & sitting on the swing (reading).  Fun, relaxing, productive, exercise, fruit eating, all boxes ticked :-)
• I have my certificate done for my boss & some conversation starters for our meeting tomorrow.
• There's still plenty of lunches left
• Am in a better mood today
• got to the shops before they got too busy
• assistant gave me a token for the trolley cos I had no change

walking & weather

• Got out for the walk, plenty of parking.
• Pleasantly warm, rain started when we were undercover so we stayed reasonably dry
• a good length walk at a good pace, home in time for lunch
• got plenty of steps
• Bunnies seem fine today
• remembered to go to the shop for hay
• book arrived, am looking forward to reading it
• all is well

& breathe...

• … the bunny was nibbling on food, & gradually through the day she's getting back to her normal self
• made it out to meet a friend & enjoyed talking to her.
• Husband took me out to dinner to a new place I wanted to try, to cheer me up because I was disappointed that I'd cancelled all my other plans.
• place was open all afternoon so we could go as soon as he suggested it
• walking group have a local short walk put on last minute for tomorrow (really handy for me & I'm going)
• the other bunny had a wobble earlier but is ok now
• husband has put solar lights outside & they're really handy for doing the bunnies
• he's also put coloured lights in the house & I really like them
• had a lovely relaxing day (apart from being concerned about the bunny) & it's the long weekend so I have plenty of time to catch up on things I didn't do today
• I've thought of a few things to tell my boss next week
• I'm rolling with the certificate idea rather than taking offence at what he said
• It's been a useful exercise thinking of the things to put on it & discussion points
• it's given me a bit more direction for my work
• talking to friend this morning has helped me remember some of the things I like about my job & my boss, (things it's easy to take forgranted)
• the book she recommended was really good & I've just ordered a couple more by the same authors
• she's shown me how to get access to the kindle books that're available free through amazon prime, (they work like a library) so I have the chance to check out books I'm interested in rather than just taking the chance & buying them.

Husband

• The bunny was back to normal this morning. 
• Someone asked for my help today (well, 2 someone's did, one in my official capacity & I am pleased with what I did.  Husband reviewed it & gave me positive feedback).  I enjoyed the challenge of explaining the issue, & working out the mitigation & explaining that, & figuring out what was wrong.  The wrongness was hindering my understanding.  It was stats, I know stats & people recognise that.  I enjoyed my studies, I am glad I got to do my second degree, & the subjects I chose.
• I was narked about a meeting I was in and met a friend afterwards who is good to talk to, she pointed out I was still smiling, agreed with my frustrations & just helped by being there.
• Husband also let me sit & vent it out & had some helpful suggestions
• It also gave him some ideas of what to do
• I am finally recognising some of the frustrations he had & it gives me a better understanding of what he was dealing with
• I can find some positives in that meeting, & I have a few ideas to get on with.
• My T-card board is going well
• 
  

Care

Yesterday: Drove into town, went the wrong way & merely turned round & went the right way.  Am so pleased with myself that I did so calmly, & that now I will drive to town - I remember a time when I wouldn't.  Got a space right outside the venue, & reverse parked into it (right hand side).  Well impressed :-)    Had a good evening.  Enjoyed the book a friend recommended & had an enjoyable chat.  Remembered to ask for my hot chocolate in a proper cup.  Drove off a different way & got myself through town & eventually onto a road I knew.

Workmate shared chocolate with me.  Husband was especially good to me today, giving me lots of time & attention.  & work ended as a good day.  I added some of my achievements from before my T-cards started, so I have a record of them for my review next year, plus it's good to show progress.

Dinner was lovely.  & even though the bunny isn't right & I am worried, husband has been really sweet, & I have left over syringe food, I'm here rather than him or a neighbour having to deal with her. & I can book holiday & have time off tomorrow to sort her out.  There is a shop close by that's open late so I have plenty of chance to get her treats & tempt her to eat.  Both of her favourites were in stock.  It was dry when I was out tending to her.

Socialising in the pub on Saturday, & my Sunday morning social has switched to Saturday so I don't have to think about how much I drink on Saturday.

sleepy

• my other blog is going well, I have a couple of conversations going on.  
• remembered how to get to friend's house without looking it up, & there was parking outside
• a quick dino hunt before tea has given me hope for getting my steps
• the strawberries are really nice
• I just work from a lovely kip
• there's no pressure on me to do anything
• friend has lent me a book to read
• I have resisted  buying a sequel book when I haven't finished the first one yet
• I bought a couple of ebooks for the kindle.
• husband's done the washing up
• dinner was lunch & I've expanded my "what I'm prepared to eat" to include sweet red pepper
• I braved blue cheese & even though I don't like it, husband knows that's real because he watched my face as I was eating it, (I didn't even have to tell him)

happy days

I got my wish, a lazy morning.  Awake early & reading & dino hunting in bed while trying to keep husband's arm around me.  Then my hot chocolate & playing heroes with him.  Exactly the morning I was after.

I got myself to the car park & found a space, & off to meet a friend as arranged.  Painless.  A few more crystals & a good chat.  I enjoy talking with her, she has useful insights, & apparently I helped her too. I like the reciprocity.   Walking her to her car, & then back to mine (opposite sides of the town) went a good way towards my 10k.

Home to husband to take him shopping.  He'd cleaned up!  & loads more steps as I wandered the supermarket hunting him after I wandered off.  I have the keys so I know he can't leave without me.

& then more heroes, & more watching tv.  Went out on a parcel hunt for him (it was delivered but we didn't know to which house) so I had a nice chat with chatty neighbour, & she recommended trying her next door & that's exactly where it was.  I also completed the challenge of building boxes with no instructions, am pleased with myself.  Also for going a different route home from the carpark.  I love the sense of adventure / exploring & the reassurance that I just make my way around.

Told husband about a couple of issues I encountered at work.  He's going to sort them out. My hero.  He really is 😍  I am impressed with the housework he did!

Bedtime, cosy dreams.  I like my bed, I like my house.  I like that I can just shut the door on the mess & it no longer exists ;-)

talking space

Husband's home!!  I love husband being home, I love .  I got to offload what was left in my mind about work, though I am very thankful to a friend who's been indulging me in that respect while husband's been away.

Workmate took me for bacon so he could talk to me.  Glad he knows he can confide in me, I like talking to him (& I like getting paid in bacon!  We have a deal where I remember the milk for us & he buys me occasional bacon butties), & I'm glad I could help.  I like that people know they can talk to me & am happy to provide that function (generally, also glad I can escape it).

I am finally getting there understanding what I need to know IT wise.  The IT guy has been really patient & helpful.  It's possible the IT project I need can be bumped up the priorities if I can help justify the business need.

Another workmate took the time to help me through it, & we found the boundaries of my knowledge / understanding which was really useful.  Catching up with her was fun, & workwise it was really productive.  I now have more questions to go back to the IT guy with.   I feel like our conversations are a helix, we're going round in circles but because it's 3D we are actually progressing in the correct direction!

Thankful we have a chat facility at work, so little questions can just be pinged off & answered.  Also the facility to save / print those chats.  I now have quite a pile of stuff to take to my boss next week.  If I can get that IT project moving it'll be a major win for me 😎  I've written a risk assessment for something I need to justify, it contains the justification.  I'll show the boss & he agrees then I can get the relevant people to sign & that'll be their agreement.  I like the way it's working out.  That's another project that's been broken down into a mini-project & is progressing.  I like the progression.  & it fits nicely with my new tracking system.  I am finding it easier to break tasks down into their components now, & it's becoming a habit.  I need to keep refining & revisiting the habits, which is also useful.  Verb then noun in the to-do list (which is now the T-cards) & remembering that has been really useful.  Workmate had me laughing today because one of her prompts is "use verbs".  I'm calling it a good day because I left on a high for a long weekend, feeling like things are under control, & I have something accomplished.

I am pleased with myself because I got through a difficult week.  I held my ground against someone.  I managed to survive the gloom (a colleague's been quite needy & keeps turning to me to be cheered up / talked to, & I managed to extract myself without it becoming awkward).  I've been helpful to a different colleague (one I rarely interact with in a work context) & remembered that I am a sunny fluffy bunny, & I like helping people.  & I've found the balance of letting them get on with it & only really helping if they ask & just dropping out of the everyday goings on that don't concern me.

Am meeting a friend tomorrow on my day off, a lie-in with husband.  I will get to read in bed in the morning!! Looking forward to that as one of my favourite things to do.  Yay!!
It's past my bedtime but that doesn't matter cos I'm off tomorrow :-)

Content

Glad I have a job & the reminder of why I need one.  I was rattling round the house on my own tonight, thankful that I have a job to get me up & out & interacting with people.  Also glad that I found something enjoyable to do rather than spending the night watching tv, although I enjoyed what I did watch (Due South was released by the owners onto youtube).

A pleasant meeting with the boss, & some tasks to crack on with.  A few tasks assigned to other people are starting to trickle back to me progressed, thankful I don't have to do much chasing.  The boss has his pile & knows about it.

A good laugh at lunch too, & glad I had the sense to pull over the third table.  We're back in numbers & started to get squashed round just the 2.

Husband being away makes me realise how important he is to me, & helps me appreciate him when he's home.  Glad I took Friday off with him, & that I have a boss & job where I don't need to give much notice for my random days off.

It's bedtime.  I love my bed, cosy & inviting.  Goodnight

Dinos

I figured out how to fix a problem I had at work, am pleased with myself.  Especially pleased that I figured it out myself without asking anyone for advice.  I want to become more independent & this was a good step that way.  & now I have something for my other blog!

& figured out one for someone else.  Even though I didn't fix a third one I was relatively pleased with my attempt.  I do enjoy problem solving,

I love the small victories.

I got enough of the ploddy creatures & remembered to keep them for my hybrid (dino hunting).  Am glad the game seems more stable now. & I've started getting the dinos I was getting before so I can create a new hybrid.

A decent walk to get my steps, & home just before dark - phew! 

Glad too we didn't go to Pilates, I was so hungry I was getting light headed.  

Spoilt person

I had a fab day yesterday with family.
& i'm glad husband stayed home.  He wouldn't've enjoyed the journey or the destination. It was a good day.
Husband seasoned pans which i'm also very glad i was out for.  Dino hunt to get my 10k steps & to avoid him searing meat.  I even won the strong creatures challenge.
Thankful there was a challenge point next to the carpark so i could lean against the fence & play rather than lurking outside someone's house.
The curry smells fab, i am eternally thankful that husband makes the effort to cook lush healthy meals for me.

ETA: glad for the ability to edit!  Also that I can post from my phone in bed, even though it means all those typos.  I can get the gist of it recorded & tidy it up afterwards.
Meeting friends was informative, & I learnt something new & got to practice it.  Thankful for the supportive environment.  & the compliments, they noticed & commented that I jumped straight in, not apprehensive at all.  I am glad of the environment to do that.  I will tell them that.
My day started in my favourite way, reading in bed with husband's arm around me. I have probably said so many times that I love that he'll just roll over in his sleep when prompted to.  I got to read, I got to dino battle, I have another epic dino now!  I got out between showers for walkies with husband & he was telling me what's on his mind.  Glad that he trusts me.

My day

Thankfully even though we ignored the alarm we managed to get up & get husband to work on time.
I have mostly finished the lounge, tis now a nut free zone & safe (in that respect!) for niece .
It's raining so it's cooler now
I have plenty.
It's my day off & I get to enjoy it, dino battles, & colouring & reading & I do like the place when it's clean & tidy.
Keeping it that way - challenge accepted ;-)

Weekend

Workmate came & finished the swing.  I have a functioning swing!!
Husband made lush dinner & we had wine during the week!  (A rare treat) I have tomorrow off for housewifing so no need for an early night.

A few friends from work are up for the social, there's enough of us to have quite a laugh.
Husband has picked us a fun show to watch & it's lead to interesting conversations.
I have plenty enough to do to keep me entertained

Simple things

Was talking to workmate at lunch about our plans for tonight, which was good because I had the times wrong! Thankfully we got that sorted, & I turned up early enough  for a parking space, & to go back to the car for my mat once we paid.  Friend & I managed to get spaces next to each other.  I think I'm getting better at it, braver anyway - trying the more advanced options.

Noticed my fitbit was at 25% & charged it whilst sitting still. & remembered to buy new straps.

Actually won the dino hunt challenge!  I was well impressed.

weekend part 2

so many things to be thankful for.  I've been remembering them through the day (& have forgotten them again, but I like that the habit is ingrained now so when something good happens I automatically think of here).
The allergies cleared up once I got home, so am feeling much better.  Got a half day & husband was here when I got back!  Time with husband, & finally got some washing done.

Thankful I have the kind of job (& kind of boss!) where I can just decide to take the morning off.  There's a boots at the end of the road (open til 5.30) so I got calamine cream for my heat rash.  Thankful the runny nose & sore eyes are over.

I've finally remembered to phone my Grandad at a time when it's reasonable to phone him!  So off  I go to do that now...

weekend

I caught the trains problem free,
discovered a new park as I was walking from the station which delayed me long enough for mate to come & collect me.
Very thankful for the lift to & from the celebrations on Saturday, & that there was fruit & I enjoyed the dinner.
Home ok, bunnies good.
Enjoyed good food & company

Rationalised

I am pleased with myself.  I am calming down, I know & implement the strategies (& it's not just colouring in).  I have worked to alleviate my insecurity at work & can park those thoughts over the weekend.
I've checked I can log into my favourite sites with the tablets & that's coming with me.  I've also got time to charge it ;-)

Dee breaths, I've got this.

People

I have been messaging a friend with snippets of good & remembered to post here.
One of my friends took me for a cuppa & a chat which turned into a bite to eat.  All enjoyable, especially since husband's away & I probably wouldn't've been inspired to eat otherwise.
Neighbour is minding the bunnies for me & I've shown her what to do & we had a quick catch up.
Husband arrived safely & enjoyed his extra legroom on the flight

I still get excited about things.  I am finally on top of all the tasks on my list at work, & am still inspired by husband's idea.  I also have plenty to show my boss that I have loads of work to do.

My brother's coming to visit & is planning a treat day out for us.
Mate is giving me a lift on Saturday & has put effort into my visit.

Escape

I escaped at lunchtime with a friends.
Friends are good, escape is good.  Lots of good conversation today, & I enjoyed my day.  Glad to catch up with friends, glad to cheer up a friend.  Glad to have cheer to share.

Big hugs with husband, & he remembered the shopping I wanted.  Managed to find a couple of things for a present I should've taken care of earlier.
Friend was really early & got us tickets to Pilates, happy for the new class she's introduced me to.

Happy to have a home to come home too, & husband's here 😍